It all started with two pairs of sneakers, a walking track and a sunny but chilly morning.
I thought I knew the depth of my mother’s love. Her smiles, her encouragements, her reprimands when I do something wrong, but there at least some times in a month that I cannot really find the depth of her love. It seems to be like this bottomless part of an ocean, something that I cannot truly explore and yet if I find something beautiful every time I cover a few inches of it.
It also shows me why Islam has placed so much importance in mothers. Seeing expecting mothers trying to handle groups of rowdy children already in tow, with another coming in a few months, I realize they make a lot of sacrifices. From sacrificing their favourite foodstuffs, to gaining the insane ability to awaken if a child so much as shifts in his or her cot. And then they share every joy and every sorrow and match it with their own emotions. By the time their kids are all grown up and with their married spouses, they have grown old and have given one of the greatest gifts they could give; the time of their own youth to match our intellect and playfulness as the years pass us by.
It also astounded me to no end, after a happy walk on a cool wintry day through the park, when my sneakers suddenly decided to start a revolution and give me pain, that my mom, realizing it was now near impossible for me to walk, gave me her sneakers and took mine. I protested, given her status as an elder and the fact that our sizes did not match at all. But she insisted and I had to give up. My feet were blistered, so her bigger size seemed like a haven. She, on the other hand, wore fitter sneakers than what she was used to.
She wore it for at least three hours, as far as I can remember, before I was finally able to persuade her to please make the change and that I was feeling fine.
Now, any mother would do that for her child, no matter how old; but Islam places a great importance for the status of mothers.
Ironic, really, that the media portrays women as oppressed when their status is so high.
“…His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years- give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto me is your final destination.” (Luqman: 14)
It is amazing how, regardless of how old or independent you have become, a mother’s lap is still the best place to rest your head on and wash away your worries by pouring out your heart for her. And she would still treat her children as… her children. How could she not? Her brain is hardwired to look after her kids.
The beauty of Islam is that, our parents deserve our utmost respect and obedience.
Sayyid Abdullah ibn Amr (RA) related that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one’s parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
However in some cases,
“And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents, but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.” (29:8)
This applies over both Muslim and non-Muslims parents. What is obligatory is obligatory. Those rules cannot be bent.
A mother’s position is very high and important in Islam, (regardless of the gender, mental or physical attributes or the number of children she has raised).
A man came to the Prophet (SAW) and said, “O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship?” The Prophet (SAW) said: “Your mother.” The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (SAW) said: “Then your mother.” The man further asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said: “Then your mother.” The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet said: “Then your father.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
This does not mean that the father should not be obeyed. He too has the right to be obeyed, but a mother is the one who bears the weakness and difficulties of pregnancy, while constantly fearing for her child, and then giving birth, feeding the infant and looking after the child throughout the years.
So as a final word that I have been saying for years ago and will continue to say inshaAllah:
“My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.” (Isra: 24)
Here is a take home message. Go to your mom and give her a hug. If she asks why, tell her that there was no reason. If you already do that, bend and give her hand a kiss. If she lives far away, give her a call and simply tell her you missed her. If she has passed away, pray for her akhirah and give charity in her name. Allah knows how many sacrifices our parents had done to make our dreams come true.
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